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G

gokuss4

Meh...
there was a cucumber and zuchini in a conversation. the cucumber goes, "oh great... looks like ill be all cut up." the zuchini goes "oh yeah? i have to be cut up and be thrown in a stew!"

a penis joins the conversation and says "oh yeah? i had to put on a rubber jump suit, go in a dark furry cave, do some pushups, and than i threw up!"
 
L

Lachp30

Guest
Why did the petifile cross the road?

Because it's dick was stuck in the chicken..

:colgate:

<B>And now for a blonde joke..</B>

Which would fall the the ground first, an apple or a blonde.

The apple because the blonde would have to ask for directions!
 
AlphaWolf

AlphaWolf

I prey, not pray.
I like this one:


Buckwheat & Darla were in school, and the teacher asks Darla, "How do you spell 'dumb'?"

Darla says, "D-u-m-b, dumb."

The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."

She says, "Buckwheat is dumb."

The teacher says, "Now spell 'stupid'."

Darla says, "S-t-u-p-i-d, stupid."

The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."

Darla says, "Buckwheat is stupid."

Then the teacher calls on Buckwheat and says, "Buckwheat, spell dictate."

Buckwheat stands and says, "D-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate."

The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."

"I may be dumb and I may be stupid, but Darla says my dictate good!"
Click to expand...
 
G

gokuss4

Meh...
gokuss4 said:
ok there was 3 guys on the top of the empire state building. the 1st guy said to the second guy "hey did you know if you jump off the empire state building the air current will just push you back up" so the second guy says "no way, i dont believe that" than the first guy says "oh yeah? watch this" so the 1st guy jumps off the empire state building and he comes back up. so the second guy says "wow, cool ill try it now" so he jumps off and hes never seen again, he died. so the third guy goes "you're a real asshole superman"
Click to expand...

just incase you guys dont remember it ;)
 
OP
icepir8

icepir8

Moderator
A man walked out into the street and managed to get a taxi just going by. What luck, he thought, as he slid into the cab. "Perfect timing," the cabby said. "You're just like Bill."

"Who?" asked the man. "Bill Smith. There's a guy who did everything right," the cabby said. "Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Bill every time."

"Nah," the man said to the cabby. "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

"Not Bill," said the cabby. "He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star."

"Bill was really something, huh?"

"Oh, yeah," continued the cabby. "Bill had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole neighborhood blacks out."

"No wonder you remember him," the man said. "Well, I never actually met Bill," said the cabby. "Then how in the world do you know so much about him?" "I married his widow," replied the cabby.
 
vampireuk

vampireuk

Mr. Super Clever
On the sixth day God turned to Archangel Gabriel and said: "Today I am going to create a land called Canada, it will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs over-looking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon."

God continued, "I shall make the land rich in oil so as to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, and they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth."

"But Lord," asked Gabriel, "don't you think you are being too generous to these Canadians?"

"Not really," replied God, "just wait and see the neighbours I am going to give them."
 
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