Joke of the Day
- Thread starter icepir8
- Start date
RPGlover12
New member
ROFL @ honesty on the internet 
OP
icepir8
Moderator
- Thread Starter
- #67
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
iq_132
Banned
http://www.emutalk.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=7872&perpage=15&display=&pagenumber=4
That's sort of funny...
That's sort of funny...
RPGlover12
New member
i dont hate cats cats are ok except for the black ones u can't see them in the dark and their eyes glows they look scary
they look scary
M
mann
Guest
lol!!
DuDe
Emu64 Staff
Winny the Pooh decided to visit his friend Piglet. So, he gets to his house, opens the door, and sees Tigger sitting on the couch, having a dinner.
'Where is Piglet?" asks Pooh.
"Eh, eh, I don`t know" said Tigger, while taking a bite from another juicy slice of a fine ham steak.
'Where is Piglet?" asks Pooh.
"Eh, eh, I don`t know" said Tigger, while taking a bite from another juicy slice of a fine ham steak.
Flash
Technomage
Hello!
Actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the world-famous
International Institute of Answering Machine Answers...
~~~~~
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your
name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
~~~~~
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not
here. So leave a message.
~~~~~
Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
~~~~~
Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to
it instead. Wait for the beep.
~~~~~
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these
magnets.
~~~~~
Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her
tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything
cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
~~~~~
Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My
owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are
clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture
taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
~~~~~
This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought- recording
device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a
number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.
~~~~~
Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a
message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
~~~~~
Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a
message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
~~~~~
If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons
right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message.
~~~~~
You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy
now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist
suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.
~~~~~
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent.
Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
~~~~~
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now,
because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and
down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you.
Actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the world-famous
International Institute of Answering Machine Answers...
~~~~~
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your
name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
~~~~~
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not
here. So leave a message.
~~~~~
Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
~~~~~
Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to
it instead. Wait for the beep.
~~~~~
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these
magnets.
~~~~~
Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her
tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything
cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
~~~~~
Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My
owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are
clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture
taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
~~~~~
This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought- recording
device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a
number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.
~~~~~
Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a
message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
~~~~~
Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a
message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
~~~~~
If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons
right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message.
~~~~~
You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy
now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist
suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.
~~~~~
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent.
Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
~~~~~
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now,
because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and
down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you.
cooliscool
Nintendo Zealot
lol flash nice
P.S. Your iron horse ie l33t. Must have a rockin mobo to get 1024mb ram for socket7, mine supports up to 768 only.
P.S. Your iron horse ie l33t. Must have a rockin mobo to get 1024mb ram for socket7, mine supports up to 768 only.