Look at this one:
Saget; the Anti-Christ!?
Well, in the interest of scientific-clarity (I possess no scientific credentials what-so-ever; but, nevermind that!) it is true that the numbers 666 were spotted over his left buttock, last September, while Saget was scuba diving off the coast of New Jersey. However, it was not a demonic-signature of sorts but simply an allergic reaction to Reynolds (TM) aluminium wrap, of which he had ingested several yards of, on an alcohol and drug induced dare... (To his credit, having done so ensured that he bed Miss Rhode Island as a reward of sorts; of sorts I say because Zelma Thorninburger had actually been awarded the title back in 1938 and though she has aged fairly gracefully over the years she is still... well, you do the math.)
It is also true that Mr. Saget also seems to avoid houses of worship of any denomination, sect or religion as the universal end-result always involves fire, spontaneous (360 degree) head spins, curses uttered in Aramaic and the like. However this too has been explained in a very satisfactory manner; agreable to the scientific community. Yet the results have only been published in Sagatamucchiappalooo (a remote off-shoot of the Pagalopalian language of the Zaqiti peoples of a very tiny remote island, situated some miles off the coast of Guam.) and will be reported first-hand, here at this very same Cape Scene (Home of the Breaking News Network - BNN)location, immediately upon its translation into any language that currently enjoys more than 23 participants.
In a related topic: Grand Ayatollah Mahmoud Chapnush has announced a personal "Jihad" (to last not less than 38 months) against Mr. Saget stating that: "...that fellow is a shifty one; he uses the personal home videos of unsuspecting people to embed his satanic messages." His Excellency the Grand Ayatollah currently is serving a 25 year sentence at Fort Foykdover Federal Detention Facility where he was recently promoted to the position of head assistant to the assistant of laundry folding. Although some within the government suspected the Grand Ayatollah of some sort of "terror" related involvement, nothing could be proven. In a more prolonged investigation, it was found that the Grand Ayatollah had rented a vhs rental title (Depths of Deborah) back in 1989 and had never actually returned it. Under the current provisions of the USA Patriot Act, it was possible to sentence him to a sentence of "...a period no less than 20 years."
The Laboratory for the Scientific Truth, in independent testing found that most Saget phrases, played backwards elicited the phrase "Monkey Butt itches." Dr. Ingles Nuttworth Jr went on to state: "Yes the phrase indeed is quiet curious yet, the same phrase also appears in the numerous speeches of President Martin Van Buren and singer Marilyn Manson." He had no idea (aside from "freak, chance occurence") why such a phrase would appear at all. Pressed further, Dr. Nuttworth Jr became visibly upset and gave his own rendition of "Free Bird" ( a very popular gesture, enjoying the display of a lone, solitary finger, extended with alacrity and determination... )
Reporting from Cape Girardeau, Allen P. Epidermis (a.k.a., Mustapha)
Mr. Bob Saget could not be reached for a comment.
See, see, i said it first.
