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Does Superman Returns Suck?

A.I.

Banned
I saw Superman Returns on the weekend and I must say I was really disapointed. As as an old schooler the original Superman with Christopher Reeve was akin to Starwars and all the great movies of the eighties; simply magical. They had great witty dialogue, good actors, good plot (With the exception of Superman 3,4) and the special effects (Back then) were not bad also.

Superman Returns, however had a script that made Smallville look like Shakespear. Not only was it God damn awful but they borrowed (Read pinched) the original lines and puns from the old Superman movies and the cast delivered them as limply as Superman's cape. Speaking of cast, although Brandon Routh bore an uncanny appearance to Christopher Reeve he also has the acting skills of wet Kryptonite. And Kate Bosworth was woeful, pretty to looks at, yes, but had little credibility as a Pultizer prize winning journalist. There was no chemistry between her and Brandon Routh and frankly i couldnt give a damn whether they would reunite. As for Kevin Spacy's camp Lex Luther, well it may be over the top but atleast he was entertaining. The rest of the cast just moped in the shadows doing pale immitations of the original cast.

And dont get me started on the plot. It did not make sense.

WARNING: SPOILERS

1. Superman arrived back to Earth in a spaceship from the planet Kyrpton. Funny thing is Superman later explains that Krypton was indeed destroyed and there was nothing there (Nothing to see here, people). So how the hell did he get into the spaceship in the first place?

2. Lex Luther explains that he intends to create new land using the crystals which in the process will destroy half of America. Well this did not happen, the bloody things just rose from the water and that was it. I was expecting Superman to freeze a gigantic tidal wave with his super breath or something which would be far more original than lifting a gigantic big rock into space.
Its funny how Superman after being weakened by kryptonite could get the shit kicked out of him by three guys but conveniently have the strength to lift a small continent full of the stuff. (Incidently, watching Superman getting his butt kicked was my fav bit!)

3. And finally the most irrating. The little wise ass kid who may or may not be Superman's son. With a mullet from the seventies the question was more like why do cute kids in movies have daggy hairstyles? He looked like he was Mike Brady and Lois Lane's love child rather than the son of the man of steel. Oh yeah, he was Superman's son alright and loved chucking pianos more than he loved playing them but had an annoying habbit of wimping out from his super powers when they were really needed. But dont blame him that he couldnt open that steel door like tin foil. He would have stolen Superman's thunder if he did that and changed the film title to Superman Returns with Super Brat.

To add insult to injury they used the original John Williams soundtrack. After the exciting opening which replicated the original intro but pushed it to warp 7 the rest of the movie was flat and uninspiring with the occasional action set piece to aleviate the tedious exposition.

I could go on forever listing the holes in the script but I wont. If they spent as much time with the special effects (Which, admittedly were pretty awesome ) as they did with the script the movie could have been something special. What were you thinking Bryan Singer of X-Men fame?

Anyway, that's just my view. The new generation wheened by OC and Smallville may think differently.

What do you think? Does Superman Returns suck or soar?
 
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WhiteX

New member
I haven´t watched it yet, but if the kid has Supes powers, i believe i am not going to.
 

Allnatural

New member
Moderator
I haven't seen it yet, but your criticisms are shared by a number of reviewers. Seems that Singer and co. spent so much effort paying homage to the original movie, they forgot to create an interesting story. Lex Luthor's grand scheme is another real estate swindle? *yawn*
 

Jaz

Ex-Mod
I thought it looked really good from the trailer. :(

It's screening in the UK from next week, so I'll go watch it then.
 

Jaz

Ex-Mod
:D

20060628.jpg
 

gokuss4

Meh...
While I agree that it was not as good as the originals, I was still not so dissappointed with it. I actually wasn't expecting nothing special, but I was surprised it was actually ok. I thought at first it was an awesome movie.. and this is why I don't like reading critic shit. I could give a shit what people say, so I say it's still an awesome movie. And yes, I like Smallville, too. So shove that up your criticising ass.

BTW, nice comic! :D
 
OP
A.I.

A.I.

Banned
gokuss4 said:
While I agree that it was not as good as the originals, I was still not so dissappointed with it. I actually wasn't expecting nothing special, but I was surprised it was actually ok. I thought at first it was an awesome movie.. and this is why I don't like reading critic shit. I could give a shit what people say, so I say it's still an awesome movie. And yes, I like Smallville, too. So shove that up your criticising ass.

Ah... My first flaming. :akuma: It's nice to be noticed! :) Gokuss4, I have nothing against Smallville. Infact, I quite enjoy watching it; what with it's Dawson Creek lite script and the pretty young models masquerading as actors, its a perfect way to relax in the evening without exercising the old brain cells. It's just entertainment. Like Superman Returns. Popcorn entertainment. Designed to sell toys, games, clothes, bed sheet covers and anything else they can stick an 'S' logo on that will sell. Just like every other fricken blockbuster these days, its all about mass merchandising, targeting the 0-30 age group so they can fill producers and stars pockets with shit load of money while we're still reeling from the stink.

But we're all entitled to our own opinions which makes this world a more colourful place, except i don't make it a habit of flaming anybody who doesn't agree with me. I just present my views, cynical as they may be and leave it for others to express theirs. That was the intent of this thread. But I guess it all comes down to people's maturity (Or lack of...). Hell, I was young once! If somebody said Battle of the Planets was gay I'd knock their heads in!

lol, :p i hate to think what would happen if i said Mario sucks - I'd proably be hung or something! Just for the record (In case i get more flaming, which i will proably get anyway) Mario doesn't suck, infact Mario Rules OK! :king:

Oh, yeah, Jaz that Supes comic was brilliant! :p Any chance of anymore Super hero related comics?
 

gokuss4

Meh...
Blind One said:
Ah... My first flaming. :akuma: It's nice to be noticed! :) Gokuss4, I have nothing against Smallville. Infact, I quite enjoy watching it; what with it's Dawson Creek lite script and the pretty young models masquerading as actors, its a perfect way to relax in the evening without exercising the old brain cells. It's just entertainment. Like Superman Returns. Popcorn entertainment. Designed to sell toys, games, clothes, bed sheet covers and anything else they can stick an 'S' logo on that will sell. Just like every other fricken blockbuster these days, its all about mass merchandising, targeting the 0-30 age group so they can fill producers and stars pockets with shit load of money while we're still reeling from the stink.

But we're all entitled to our own opinions which makes this world a more colourful place, except i don't make it a habit of flaming anybody who doesn't agree with me. I just present my views, cynical as they may be and leave it for others to express theirs. That was the intent of this thread. But I guess it all comes down to people's maturity (Or lack of...). Hell, I was young once! If somebody said Battle of the Planets was gay I'd knock their heads in!

lol, :p i hate to think what would happen if i said Mario sucks - I'd proably be hung or something! Just for the record (In case i get more flaming, which i will proably get anyway) Mario doesn't suck, infact Mario Rules OK! :king:

Oh, yeah, Jaz that Supes comic was brilliant! :p Any chance of anymore Super hero related comics?

pfft... all in fun eh? ;) Don't take me seriously, just telling you now :). BTW, I still am up with the whole criticism subject. Sometimes criticism changes people's views even after they've seen the movie, which IMO means they're pretty weak minded. Sorry If I came off a bit strong, I was grouchy last night :D.

BTW, WTF MAN?! Mario sucks ass! You know he's gay and incest-fueled for his bro Luigi ;).
 

Chibi Nick

Emutalk Member
Yeahhhhh it would have been nice if they left lex luthor out all together and tried another enemy. Someone like Brainiac? :D
 
OP
A.I.

A.I.

Banned
Chibi Nick said:
Yeahhhhh it would have been nice if they left lex luthor out all together and tried another enemy. Someone like Brainiac? :D

Oh sweet Jesus! :bouncy: You just brought back memories of my childhood when i had a Superman and a Brainiac action figure! I used to dream up diabolical plans of world domination - this was around the time when those Nintendo game 'n' watch thingies were the hottest thing since... um... Commordore 64? Brainaic would be an awesome villian! Just wondering who would play him. Better not be Jim Carrey. Batman_ (God which one was it?) is still fresh in my mind... :yucky:

You know, with all these super hereo movies being made i would like to see some classic anime from the 60's and 70's being made into live/CG movies. Like Astro boy, Battle of the Planets and Star Blazers - a triology just begging to be made (I've only seen the first two series) :drool:
 
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A.I.

A.I.

Banned
gokuss4 said:
pfft... all in fun eh? ;) Don't take me seriously, just telling you now :). BTW, I still am up with the whole criticism subject. Sometimes criticism changes people's views even after they've seen the movie, which IMO means they're pretty weak minded. Sorry If I came off a bit strong, I was grouchy last night :D.

BTW, WTF MAN?! Mario sucks ass! You know he's gay and incest-fueled for his bro Luigi ;).

lol! :D If you think Mario's gay you should see the movie! :x
 

bcrew1375

New member
Blind One said:
You know, with all these super hereo movies being made i would like to see some classic anime from the 60's and 70's being made into live/CG movies. Like Astro boy, Battle of the Planets and Star Blazers - a triology just begging to be made (I've only seen the first two series) :drool:
I don't think that's such a good idea. Live-action movies based on animation or video games tend to suck very, very badly.

Blind One said:
lol! :D If you think Mario's gay you should see the movie! :x
Though, it's not saying much, I think Super Mario Bros. was one of the best video game movies I've ever seen.
 
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OP
A.I.

A.I.

Banned
bcrew1375 said:
I don't think that's such a good idea. Live-action movies based on animation or video games tend to suck very, very badly.

True. Video games to movies have a bad track record.

bcrew1375 said:
Though, it's not saying much, I think Super Mario Bros. was one of the best video game movies I've ever seen.

You kidding right? :p Are we talkn about the same movie? The one with Bob Hoskins and Dennis Hopper? What planet are you on? ;) I must admit, though, its been awhile since I've seen it - it might be better than i last remembered. I guess it has to be better than Double Dragon, the movie :puke:
 

fiZ

New member
I was on a first date at this movie....we walked out

before it ended....BEYOND BAD!....I wonder how many people really caught on to certain things that made this movie bad....beyond the bad script....the way it was laid out...let me say this first...I'm a big superhero fan....I have allot of collectables from the past and so on ....people would walk in my house and be blown away by all my stuff...and out of all the Superheros, Superman is my favorite. so of course I'm going to hate this lame ass movie...Superman wouldn’t have sex with Lois lane and just take off for 5 years without saying anything....assholes do things like that...2nd....eavesdropping on her personal life and trying to get her back when she was living with someone....that my friends is NOT truth, justice.....maybe the American way these days the way the government has giving' themselves the right to violate our most sacred constitutional right...I wonder what kind of morals the person that wrote this script has...the only good thing about this movie was it made my connection with the girl I went on a date with that much stronger as we both felt the same way...As for Kevin Spacey...we all know he is a great actor...goes to show you what a Genius Gene Hackman is as he was a thousand times better as Lex Luthor.....and I'm sure it's a know brainer here when I say the REAL Superman unfortunately passed away a couple of years ago.
 
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A.I.

A.I.

Banned
Whoa! And I thought I was critical! But you do have a point. By updating the movie with today's values while trying to duplicate the old school charm of the original was a mistake. It just didn't feel right. But passing it off as a sequel was just plain stupid. It just didn't work. I don't look at Superman Returns as a true sequel but what some so called creative Directors tag it - a re-imagining.

What they should have done was to wipe the 80's homage slate clean. Start a fresh. Look at the comic's storylines for inspiration. What about 'The Death of Superman?' That would be a perfect way to start. New costume. New vision. Superman with long, flowing hair. More edge to his character; think of Batman but less brutal. More alien, less 1950's cardboard cutout look; think of X-Men's Jean Grey's transformation as Phoenix. Totallly wild. Set it in the present with new characters, (No Lois lane and co) new villians (Brainaic anyone?) and no Lex. Think of the scale of Independance Day (But without the cheesy humour) where the world is really threatened. Make it a God damn epic and not another melodrama.

Highlight Superman's other less used powers, introduce new ones. Think of other ways he could be vulnerable instead of always relying on Kryptonite. Show Superman really kicking ass. He's the Man of Steel for Christ's sake! He can do more than just heavy lifting!

Give Superman the respect he so rightly deserves.
 
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WhiteX

New member
The thing with kriptonite is that they are afraid that by showing an enemy that can kick Supes´ ass without resorting to it may weaken the hero to the audience.
 
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A.I.

A.I.

Banned
WhiteX said:
The thing with kriptonite is that they are afraid that by showing an enemy that can kick Supes´ ass without resorting to it may weaken the hero to the audience.

You'd think the number of times old Supes has encountered Kryptonite he would have the common sense to wear lead undies.

Sometimes balls of steel aint enough... ;)
 

zAlbee

Keeper of The Iron Tail
I saw it. I thought it was awesome. :D I never saw the original, but I suspect some of you are just feeling the all too common "the original was so much better" nostalgia. It didn't suck. Star Wars 1-2 sucked. This was good, and I found no fault with the acting.

Although I agree with this plot hole: how the heck did he lift a giant continent up when it's covered in Kryptonite? And yes, making him Superman's son does throw a giant wrench in the plot... I guess they couldn't resist. But that's how they chose to make it different from the comics, and I'm fine with that.

And Blind One, it didn't wipe out America because he only used one crystal. He had about 10 more to play with.

Blind One said:
New vision. Superman with long, flowing hair. More edge to his character; think of Batman but less brutal. More alien, less 1950's cardboard cutout look; think of X-Men's Jean Grey's transformation as Phoenix. Totallly wild.

lol, you must be kidding. Jean's Phoenix hair was terrrible. :teehee: No really, if anything X-men 3 was the most fucked up comic book sequel this year.
 

smcd

Active member
Blind One said:
What they should have done was to wipe the 80's homage slate clean. Start a fresh. Look at the comic's storylines for inspiration. What about 'The Death of Superman?' That would be a perfect way to start. New costume. New vision. Superman with long, flowing hair. More edge to his character; think of Batman but less brutal. More alien, less 1950's cardboard cutout look; think of X-Men's Jean Grey's transformation as Phoenix. Totallly wild. Set it in the present with new characters, (No Lois lane and co) new villians (Brainaic anyone?) and no Lex.

Highlight Superman's other less used powers, introduce new ones. Think of other ways he could be vulnerable instead of always relying on Kryptonite. Show Superman really kicking ass. He's the Man of Steel for Christ's sake! He can do more than just heavy lifting!

So basically, make it nothing like Superman? (Superman IS lois lane, kryptonite, and super strength) Also, what's so bad about looking like you're from the 1950's? :p
 

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