My story, rate it!

[aprentice]

which mental hospital are you operating from? j/k

 

[Ketil]

which mental hospital are you operating from? j/k

lol ren:happy:

 

[Sukh]

Uhmm, ever heard of Microsoft Word Synonyms? Right-click on a word and it'll give you alternatives - very cool.

It's a bit boring so I didn't read much but, "In a time were agents", were should be when

 

[rob in london]

if you can't say anything nice...

 

[Trotterwatch]

F-

The story doesn't do anything, it doesn't have any plot setting, any plot twists, it's a straightforward A to B tale.

The subject matter will also tend to lose you marks, examiners, teachers etc don't tend to enjoy reading work that contains excessive violence.

Your level of English seems to be good though, you could just use more imagination. To be truthful, this idea could do with being scrapped and you coming up with a new one.

If you are intent with sticking to this story, then do as sytaylor has advised and build it up a little.

 

[Anchel]

You want us to rate it?????
Ok, I'll rate it

 

[2fast4u]

if you can't say anything nice...

... but if there ain't anything nice to say ...

 

[Ketil]

I got a 6'er, which equals an A. F- my ass. I got an A. In yo face!

 

[2fast4u]

I got a 6'er, which equals an A. F- my ass. I got an A. In yo face!

ROFLMAO :happy: i said d- not f-, biatch! i've never seen such a pathetic piece of writing in my life.

 

[Ketil]

well spank my white ass coz i got an a

 

[2fast4u]

woo, touchy subject :innocent:

 

[Ketil]

so u can suk meh dik if u dun leik meh shit, coz i was high when i wrote this so suk my dik.(biatch)

 

[Malcolm]

Ketil STFU, no one needs to hear about "suk"'ing your "dik" u moron

 

[DuDe]

And he didn`t even come up with that one, it`s an Eminem song.

 

[Remote]

I got bored after reading the first twwo sentences. Not a good sign.

Definetely not, I only read a couple of sentences and the story didn't get me hooked.. I'll see if I can find a good story, written by yours truly, and then I'll attach it...

 

[Macca]

how old are you? and what year are you in?

i can't really give it a grade without knowing what standard you should be at.

It ranges from a 10 year old which it would be good to an 18 which would be shocking.

 

[sytaylor]

for a foreign language student to produce that its not bad i guess, but as far as storys go i agree with the guys its not brill... and for most of the people on these boards english isnt their native tongue yet they could prolly kill that story, so i'd listen and not insult ketil