Jokes

[DuDe]

A sailor on a big ship sits and spends his free time on fishing. After an hour or so, bang, he cathches something. So he checks his fishing rod, and sees that he caught a golden fish. Well, the fish goes : "Plz release me, I`ll fullfill your every wish". So, the sailor thinks for a while, and says : "Forget it, I want you to fullfill the first thing that the Captain will say in the morning", and he throws the fish back into the sea. Well, the morning comes, the capt`n comes out, he looks at the sea, and says : "FUCK ME, what a glorious morning".

 

[rob in london]

ok somone mentioned sexist jokes, and lets face it its not like any women visit this forum anyway so here goes:

why do women have short feet? so they can stand closer to the sink

how do you make a womans life easier? move the bed into the kitchen

what do you do if your washing machine breaks down? give her a slap

what have you done wrong if your woman comes out of the kitchen complaining? made her chain to long

theres a man and a woman drowning at sea and the woman takes of her shirt and says to the man ' make me feel like a real woman! ' so the man takes of his shirt and says ' here you go, iron this '

if anyones offended by this, they should get out more and try and develop a sense of humour, because there only jokes