Goodbye
- Thread starter A.I.
- Start date
dude what gives?
OP
A.I.
Banned
- Thread Starter
- #6
Uh, i guess i should owe you guys an apology. You're right, i guess i was being melodramatic, kind of implying something sinister, not that i was, but i did really mean it was my last post until i saw 4 replies that made me guilty of not leaving some kind of explanation and realised that maybe some people still cared enough to ask what was wrong. I may be only an avatar but words can still carry some impact so im sorry if i created any anxiety or minor arching of eyebrows. I guess i was feeling down at the time. I kind of reached a point in my life where i finally see the big picture. I realised that i wasted my life playing games, as nice as a distraction they are, among other things, i could have achieved greater things. Maybe, its a mid life crisis or the fact im scared of dying (i think about it every day, i really dont want to not exist) but i'm worried i'm running out of time to excell in a career or start a family or live long enough to see that family grow up. I worry about the passing of time, growing old, seeing loved ones dying, seeing my cat die, seeing my wife die, my wife seeing me die and me not knowing about it unless ghost whisper is true and having a sense of humour only gets you so far. My life has turned full circle, with my wife recently having a major operation, im more aware of the fragility of life than i ever have been. I'm not reckless on the roads anymore and i no longer abuse my body with alcohol (dont do drugs, only legal drugs like coffee) even sexual self abuse is kept at a minium. Anyway, these are my minor thoughts, pass judgement if you must.
A.I., I had a similar revelation myself some number of years ago. Everyone will eventually come to this at some point, some will view it a lot more in detail as you seem to be and others will find some way to see past it or work with it. Personally for me it became self evident that life really has an end when my 4 year old son (now 10) asked me when I was going to die. I responded that I hoped not for quite a long time. He then said well you better quit smoking because it's bad and will kill you. He never mentioned if someone told him that or not but the look in his eyes at that moment was incredibly 'adult' and the way he spoke was like my smoking WAS going to kill me soon as if it were a fact. Already a bit over weight and dealing with high blood pressure at the time I quit smoking, started exercising and dieting a bit. Been clean of drugs (minus the occasional beer or over the counter med as needed for aches and such) for over 6 years now. The biggest thing I've come to realize is there is NOTHING we can do to stop the events that occur however we can enjoy life daily without worry. Though I must admit that feeling, for myself, with what happened to me physically and mentally through these past years of personal repair, as well as being a Christian, have made it really easy to fully take it all in.
Anyway I'll add you to my personal prayer list here in the hope you can find what your looking for or the answer to what you foresee as dilemma.
Anyway I'll add you to my personal prayer list here in the hope you can find what your looking for or the answer to what you foresee as dilemma.
