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Thread: Guys Rule..

  1. #1
    Moderator Jaz's Avatar
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    Guys Rule..

    Us guys have it so good.. here's why..



    • Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.
    • Your orgasms are real. Always.
    • Your last name stays put.
    • The garage is all yours.
    • Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    • You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
    • Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    • You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut.
    • Wrinkles add character.
    • A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you tarnished.
    • People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
    • The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    • New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    • Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
    • Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?"
    • You can appreciate great sport.
    • You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.
    • One mood, ALL the damn time.
    • A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
    • You can open all your own jars.
    • Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.
    • You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
    • You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
    • You can kill your own food.
    • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    • If you are 30 and single, nobody notices.
    • Everything on your face stays its original colour.
    • You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
    • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
    • You don't have to clean your flat if the electricity meter reader is coming.
    • If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just may become lifelong friends.
    • You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours.
    • You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    • You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
    • The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    • You don't have to shave below your neck.
    • Your belly usually hides your big hips.
    • One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
    • You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife.
    • You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
    • Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th,in 45 minutes.
    • Same job .... . more pay.
    • The world is your urinal.

    TBE 2011 - this time it's real.


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  2. #2
    Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
    /agrees

  3. #3
    Moderator 2fast4u's Avatar
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    i feel better already
    ...and on really romantic evenings of self, I go salsa dancing with my confusion...

  4. #4
    Moderator blizz's Avatar
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    amen
    Bringing Death by Sexy.

  5. #5
    Not a Moderator Malcolm's Avatar
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    ----------->>> People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. <<<-----------

    unfortunately not always true
    Quitters never Win, Winners never Quit; but those who never Win and never Quit are generally banned EmuTalk members.

  6. #6
    Meh...
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    /me agrees also
    Lurking... like a bawse.

  7. #7
    GODLIKE RatTrap's Avatar
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    One mood, ALL the damn time <- DAMN that is true..

  8. #8
    Emu64 Staff DuDe's Avatar
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    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

    So true... I never really understood the whole ironing thing...
    In the land of the impotent, the man with the one working bollock is king.
    <a href=http://www.stylefone.com><img src=http://www.stylefone.com/signature.php></img></a>

  9. #9
    Liar Liar Pants On Fire! Zero's Avatar
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    LOL :p
    Nice one Jaz

  10. #10
    Moderator Jaz's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Oleg Zaks
    [B]So true... I never really understood the whole ironing thing...
    Oh, I understand it. It goes like this.. "Darling, iron this for me.."
    TBE 2011 - this time it's real.

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