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[lario]

"There are several differences between a footballl game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer, and the participants wear uniforms. Also there are more injuries at a football game."

Alfred Hitchcock (1899-1980)

[lario]

Sorry I had to keep you waiting. (You probably don't care, right?)

"I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the manmade sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig."