SOLUTION: jnes WITH kaillera
to boggle:
i saw your post on another game forum as well.
you CAN play jnes with kaillera.
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you have to get a "special" version of JNes to use kaillera. when you get this version, it will be under Options->Input. it will say Player 1, Player 2, and kaillera. if you have a LOT of games, i suggest creating a subdirectory with games you want to play over the internet with kaillera, for it will CLUTTER the kaillera menu. reason being is that with MAME, all games have a fixed filename, whereas with JNes, you can call the rom file whatever you want.
(i think) the player who sets up the game will be the "real" player 1 whereas the joining party will be the "real" player 2 (although both use joypad configs as player 1 from JNes). don't be confused by this -- it's actually better this way, so you won't have to tinker around with configs. you'll always be configed at player 1.
one bug is persistent. don't put the game in full-screen mode, or else you'll drop the connection and/or get out of sync. at least, that seems to be the case with me. so always play in window'ed mode.
oh yeah, where to get this special Jnes exe???
damn i forgot, but i have it saved on my hard drive. hold on, let me search for it...
the unofficial name of it is "jnes v0.41". you can get it here:
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if that's not there anymore, then type in "jnes 0.41" into any search engine.
THAT should solve your problem. currently, i only set up a server with a max of 2 people. me and my brother. my brother and i play super tecmo bowl via kaillera and it's mad fun. he moved 800 miles away, so it's our special way of keeping in touch. we used to play it all the time when we were smaller as well.
i haven't tried setting up a server with more than 2 people though, so i have NO idea how that would work.
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bodom