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Sometimes something happens, that you can't believe.

MasterPhW

MasterPhW

Master of the Emulation Flame
Do you know the feeling, if you see some reports in the TV and think, that it never will happen to you?
Or see some family tragedies in some series, that you think, that can't happen ever to you?
Same happens to me, but just one week ago, such a tragedy happened to me.
My mother died with only 43 years.
She wasn't ill, she hadn't problems before and all seemed to go well, we talked till 1 am, like we used to, if we found time and only 5 hours later she was given over for dead.
I can't believe it. The last week was really hard for me.
My Dad couldn't believe what happened and is still paralyzed.
Does anyone know, what should I do? How to help my dad etc?
 
t0rek

t0rek

Wilson's Friend
First I want to say I feel sorry for you. About your dad, what do you exactly mean with paralyzed?
 
OP
MasterPhW

MasterPhW

Master of the Emulation Flame
I didn't knew how describe it better... he didn't knew, what to do, was only sitting in the living room, couldn't help me or my aunt with desicions etc.
It was and still is very hard for him.
He's now alone in our big house and I'm feeling really sorry for him, because I'm nearly 500km away at work.
 
JKKDARK

JKKDARK

New member
That's terrible news. It's not really important the age, as long as she enjoyed her life. I wish your family and you will get better soon.

I'm curious, how she died?
 
Cyberman

Cyberman

Moderator
Moderator
First thing is to make sure he understands he shouldn't make ANY big financial decisions for at least 6 months. The same goes with relationships etc. the later at least a year.
Your mother was likely a huge part of his life, so loosing her was like loosing an arm and a leg, imagine how big a problem that would be fore you and that is how he is feeling and is. That is likely why he's paralyzed too. Denial is a serious problem with such a thing as well. The important thing is to make sure he has a clue what to do. I've never lost anyone THAT close but a friend in college did himself in, that was pretty hard on everyone especially his sister (who just happened to be 1 year younger was going to the same college and everyone knew and was friends with as well so you can imagine what kind of .. strange situation that was). It was interesting to say the least. It was a small Unversity so a lot of people knew each other.

In any case be sure to check up on him periodically (IE weekly), be sure to coordinate things with your other relatives so someone is checking on him almost daily. That will make things better, all around sudden unexpected loss is very difficult to deal with.

Cyb
 
T

twiztidgamer

New member
Im sorry for your loss.... i couldnt imagine it.... keep your head up and try and stay positive.

and spend some time with your father if you can ... im sure he could use your company.

Much Love Dude
 
t0rek

t0rek

Wilson's Friend
Cyberman's advise was correct. I have to say that your father reaction is a natural one. It is said that grief symptoms can last even for 2 years and still be a normal reaction. In that period he must re-adapt his lifestyle. So follow Cyberman's advice, he needs company right now, or tell other people from your family to be with him.
 
OP
MasterPhW

MasterPhW

Master of the Emulation Flame
First, thanks for all your nice comments and advices.
It's great to see, that there are still some guys which try to help in such a bad time and also show there feelings.
I won't tell details about the circumstances she died, don't need to be talked in the internet.
The bad thing about all that stuff is, like I already stated, that I had to go back to work this week (because I'm a soldier), nearly 500km away and only had "holidays" the last week.
But eastern I will be home, same applies to the week after, so I think that I'll find some time to hang around with my dad and try to help him as good as possible.
I can't say, it's easy for me to handle all that stuff, but I have to admit, that my experiences in the Red Cross and in the Army helped me a lot to handle all the feelings.
I had also a lot of my friends around me, last week, and my father was visited nearly every day by some friends of the family or some relatives, so I'm very happy that we have all that good mates.
My father is busy this week, too, because he got back to work. It's the best thing he could do IMO.
I'll try to hang out here and all my other places and try to work on my projects and do some sports to banish all my sad thoughts.
 
ScottJC

ScottJC

At your service, dood!
Aw man, I know how you feel, the very same thing happened to me last year, my mother was 51... what you should do, thats a tough question to answer.

What I think you should do is just be there for each other, your dad and your family, I know how much of a shocker this is and only time will help i'm afraid.

I wish you the best through this difficult time.
 
Danny

Danny

Programmer | Moderator
MasterPhW said:
Do you know the feeling, if you see some reports in the TV and think, that it never will happen to you?
Or see some family tragedies in some series, that you think, that can't happen ever to you?
Same happens to me, but just one week ago, such a tragedy happened to me.
My mother died with only 43 years.
She wasn't ill, she hadn't problems before and all seemed to go well, we talked till 1 am, like we used to, if we found time and only 5 hours later she was given over for dead.
I can't believe it. The last week was really hard for me.
My Dad couldn't believe what happened and is still paralyzed.
Does anyone know, what should I do? How to help my dad etc?
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry to hear that man :(

Death is so sad, something that I personally am terrified of.

You have my condolences
 
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